Dear Mom Who Thinks I Need to Vaccinate My Kids Against Measles

Lazarus T. Jones, LEVI QUACKENBOSS

Yeah, I’m totally going there. I know this vaccination subject is pretty touchy with the undertones of intolerance, discrimination, and bigotry and all, but after seeing a letter written to a “mom who decided not to vaccinate her kids against measles,” I just couldn’t sit by while parents are thrown under the bus and innocent kiddos get sick and die.

To be perfectly frank, I was a bit offended that this letter wasn’t written to dads too but for the sake of prioritizing stupid, there are more important things to address…like the fact that kids in this country do not “get sick and die” from measles. Hello? When was the last time a kid died from measles in America? Here’s a clue…it wasn’t yesterday. Disney ain’t deadly and neither are the measles.

So here goes.

Dear Mom who thinks I should vaccinate my kid against the measles,
I get it. You’re like a mama bear. A mama bear that spends a little too much time watching CNN and reading anti-vaxxer hate articles on TIME. Ain’t nobody subjecting my kiddo to a bullshit rash!

I totally agree. We should all protect our children from anything that’s going to hurt them. So I hope you don’t mind that I demand a little something more from the scientific community before I shoot my kid up with a harmful vaccine that doesn’t work. You know…like studies that aren’t done by the makers of the vaccines or the “Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation” and studies that aren’t manipulated by the CDC. My kid is worth a proper safety study and so is yours. At least I think so.

But go ahead, walk down the street and tackle my kid to the ground and shove a big ole shot in his leg with the MMR vaccine. I’ll shove a big ole lawsuit in your face. You wouldn’t want me to tackle your child to the ground because he’s not in quarantine for six weeks after receiving a live vaccine, would you? You know…to protect MY baby bear.

Oh wait, you didn’t know live vaccines shed? They do and here’s the thing: some kids are immunocompromised. They can’t receive the MMR vaccine and they can’t be around recently vaccinated children either. (Read that sentence again…very slowly.)

My child has cancer so when your super healthy vaccinated kid (try not to laugh) sheds and infects my kid with vaccine strain measles, guess what happens to my kid?

HE DIES.

As in gone forever. (FYI, I’m using the same warped creative license you used to make your point. None of my kids actually have cancer.)

So thank God I didn’t risk my perfectly healthy child’s life by giving him a shot that has NEVER been proven safe or effective, could put a cancer patient at risk, and could put him in the immunocompromised category everyone is blubbering on about. Thank God I put my child first. We’d have a problem if I didn’t.

Since you brought up MMR and autism in your letter as if this was the only reason one would choose not to vaccinate, I felt it necessary to bring a few things to your attention. Did you know the MMR vaccine can cause brain encephalitis and brain encephalitis causes autism? Of course you didn’t. You admitted that you didn’t do your research and what do all of those parents with vaccine-injured children know? They were just parents who (like you) followed the CDC’s vaccination schedule only to end up with neurologically damaged children for life.

Actually, they’re really space aliens whose kids get paid a bajillon dollars to “pretend” to be autistic. It’s all a huge elaborate fraud. Except that it’s not. The only elaborate fraud is the fact that the CDC manipulated the studies that show vaccines don’t cause autism. Dr. Thompson, a senior research scientist at the CDC admitted it and no major media outlet picked it up. They’re too busy reporting on a rash.

But the CDC says there is no “causal connection” between autism and the MMR vaccine. How convenient. I guess we should all pack up, go home, and vaccinate our kids…said no parent with a functioning brain ever.

The CDC says there’s a relationship between mitochondrial disease and autism. (I’m one of those stupid parents who got their children genetically tested for this mutation when I was deciding whether or not to vaccinate.) Page 11 of the insert for the Tripedia vaccine we had as kids lists autism as an adverse reaction. Brain encephalopathy, encephalitis, and neurological damage are listed as possible adverse reactions on every single vaccine package insert (I hope you haven’t left reading the package inserts up to the “professionals” too.)

Children have been awarded money for suffering autism post-vaccine. Scientists at the CDC have admitted to manipulating autism studies so that parents won’t question the safety of the MMR vaccine. Oh, and then there are thousands of alien parents whose children just woke up one day with autism.

While we’re talking about the CDC, let’s just see what the experts have to say about measles, shall we?

Measles is an illness characterized by a generalized rash lasting ≥3 days, a temperature of ≥101°F [≥38.3°C], and cough, coryza, and/or conjunctivitis.”

You mean it’s not a death sentence? No. It’s a rash. Do you want to vaccinate your kid and subject them to neurological damage or death…for a RASH? I guess it’s your choice. The CDC’s clinical definition is based off of how measles presents in the office setting. Go ahead. Ask a doctor who has actually seen measles (in America). I dare you.

Maybe you’re thinking I’m being all melodramatic about this, but here’s another little thing being used to manipulate parents like you:

The CDC says measles can be dangerous (but of course, the MMR vaccine is perfectly safe). They just leave out the “in third-world countries” part. Then they make some blanket statement about children having to be treated in hospitals but if you dig a little further my friends, you’ll find out these hospitalizations were for diarrhea and dehydration. Gasp!

It’s true; measles could cause pneumonia, lifelong brain damage, deafness, and death. (So could countless other things we care nothing about and don’t vaccinate for.) But it doesn’t…at least according to the CDC’s MMWR data that everyone fails to read. Hey, do you know what’s more likely to cause brain damage, deafness, pneumonia, and death? The MMR vaccine.

And guess what, I already knew this, but there is a handful of kids who can’t be vaccinated for all sorts of reasons, like kids who are less than one and are no longer protected against measles because we vaccinate their mommies with junk MMR vaccines, kids who are allergic to the shots, and kids with immune system problems (oh wait, these kids can be vaccinated with MMRaccording to the CDC).

Yes, there are a few kiddos out there whose parents would LOVE to get them vaccinated but can’t. I’m sorry. (Actually, I’m not because I think your kid is better off without vaccines.) There are also a lot of parents who wish they could take back their decision to vaccinate…but they can’t.

So no, I will not vaccinate my kiddos. I will not avoid public places. I will also not put up with the intolerant sewage and bigotry coming out of your mouth or anyone else’s who thinks they have the right to weigh-in on my parenting. You want to vaccinate your kiddo and put every single child at risk? You go right ahead.

We can still be friends but don’t take it personal when I avoid your recently vaccinated child for 3-6 weeks until the risk of viral shedding has passed and don’t be mad when I call your bluff when you say you’ll assault my unvaccinated child on the street when your temporary junk immunity to measles has long worn off. Whoa, you didn’t know you were just as much of a risk to that immunocompromised kid as my child is? Better get your booster.

And oh, by the way, if this Disney measles outbreak taught you anything, it’s that the vaccinated can get measles and it is no more deadly than your seasonal sinus infection.

Signed,
Lazarus T. Jones
A Dad who didn’t vaccinate his children because he didn’t use “not being a scientist” as an excuse to opt out of making an informed decision.