Vaccine Rant: Yet Another Reason Why John Oliver is a Total Douchebag

July 14, 2017December 10, 2018Top

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John Oliver first made his big splash on the Daily Show when he was a welcome diversion between John Stewart’s wonky facial expressions and jeery comedy routines. He since graduated to have his own show Last Week Tonight on HBO.

Oliver can at times be incredibly funny – we’ll give him that. Even when you don’t fully agree with him, he can make you laugh. If you’re moderately informed about the state of the world, however, Oliver can come across as a more humorous version of Piers Morgan. In other words, a douche bag.

So after shilling for corporations, the Democratic Party and against individual rights, it might be helpful to make a few points as to why Oliver is what he is.

The vaccine rant

Last Week Tonight is not so much a new show as it is a comedy show and it is not so much a comedy show as it is a non-traditional form of televangelism. The same viewers tune in at the same time (actually, they watch it on the Internet) to hear Oliver rant, rave and preach confirmation bias and make them feel some level of comfort in a crazy world. The difference is that Oliver uses humor instead of screaming and spitting and he doesn’t pass the plate, well, maybe some screaming and spitting, but you get the idea.

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At no time was Oliver so frantic than in his recent episode regarding vaccines where he lambasted vaccine critics and of course, Donald Trump, for daring to question Big Pharma.

“This atmosphere of confusion about vaccines has caused real problems. There are now 11 states where the number of unvaccinated kids is on the rise, and in small pockets all over America the numbers can get startlingly high. In the Somali community in Minnesota, the measles vaccination rate for children dropped to just 42%, and that has some very real consequences,” he explained.

“I kind of get why vaccines can creep people out,” Oliver adds. “Vaccinations can mean getting injected by a needle filled with science juice. Pretty much every medical practice sounds terrifying when you break it down like that. An appendectomy means removing one of your organs through stabbing, antibiotics are poison used to murder things living in you, and even exercise means forcefully burning up your insides. My point is the human body is a true carnival of horrors and frankly I’m embarrassed to have one.”

I could go on and on with the comparisons of how Oliver sounds like a megachurch youth pastor, but that’s pointless. It is also pointless to mention how he talks to his audience like five-year-olds. Seriously, John, you might try a hotline or some mail-in donations. It worked really well for a lot of guys in your field in the past.

(Rant cont.)

Some will say that the real problem is that scientists have been paid by pharma companies to hide the problem with vaccines.

I’m not saying that there are not problems with big pharma. There absolutely are; we have discussed them before on this show. But on the rare occasions where there have been issues with vaccines, they have been pulled, and fast. And I know that that explanation will still not satisfy some.

In other words, there are a lot of problems with Big Pharma, they look at profits over people, they corrupt Congress and do all sorts of hideous things that John Oliver proudly uncovers – that John Oliver, donned in his superhero tights and cape, proudly uncovers. But, when it comes to vaccines, none of those ethical concerns exist. Big Pharma puts people over profits and lies in bed awake at night losing precious sleep over the safety of their product and the fear of childhood disease. That’s not exactly what I would call logical, but logic is not something I would apply to a John Oliver program.

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Oliver also stated:

Parenthood in general is fucking terrifying. And I am someone who is scared of literally everything. For what it’s worth, I have a son. He is 19 months old. He was born prematurely following a very difficult pregnancy. And I was worried about his health and I still worry about his health a lot. But we are vaccinating him fully on schedule. And if I can overcome the temptation to listen to the irrational shouting of my terrified lizard brain, then I believe that everyone can.

We’re quite happy for John. He was able to get past his parental instinct and stick his premature son with all the vaccines Big Pharma suggests. We certainly wish the best for his son considering it is unfair for a child to suffer for the ignorance of his parents.

We certainly hope John Oliver doesn’t spend the rest of his life cleaning up bowel movements and nursing head injuries from a 35-year-old son who still watches Disney 24 hours a day. This is after all, the reality of many parents who took Oliver’s berating advice. But of course, no one is trying to take away Oliver’s right to make what he believes to be the right decision for his child, stupid as it may be. But he would do well not to join the chorus of Big Pharma shills or the bovinic masses who seek to do that to others.